Emily Benning grew up semi-feral in northern Vermont and made a lot of expensive educational decisions before figuring out that all she really wants to do is run around in the woods and play sports that involve smashing into things. At various points she’s been a barista, lab tech, landscaper, trail worker, corporate pawn, customer service rep, library aid, and painter of custom dog portraits; she’s certified as an EMT, very much enjoys both chainsaws and crosscut saws, and can tell you everything you ever wanted to know about responsibly pooping in the woods.
Steven Plichta spent his early years convinced that grass, bugs, and sunlight weren’t his thing before nearly drowning on a kayaking trip in his teens; the ensuing head injury brought him to his senses and now he’s all about planning gruesome expeditions in the wilderness. Steve plays a mean guitar, tends bar better than any member of the staff at Cheers, and will never love any human more than Latoya (his 1998 Toyota Fourrunner). He’s slowly learning to cook things other than chicken patties, but he makes those well enough that the incentive is pretty low.
Due to the nature of their shenanigans, Emily and Steve are both unemployed for big chunks of the year and would very much like it if you’d give them a job that would allow them to keep being hooligans for weeks at a time BUT also have health care. They’d be an excellent addition to your company broomball team, have a surprising number of marketable skills, and their tolerance for crap conditions is high.